Thursday, January 18, 2018

Niat Dan Nazar Di Al Haram

Hanya ini hadiah yang terbalik setakat hari ini. tak boleh diganti  dengan apa apa pun. Terimalah sayang. Terimalah dengan hati terbuka. Doakan orang sehat sahaja disini.

Aku pun tak mahu memaksa sesiapa. Tapi di dalam hati aku, aku tahu apa yang aku mahu.

Niat Dan Nazar yang di lafaz di tanahair sudahpun aku sempurnakan. Hanya Allah yang akan tentukan. Moga dimakbulkan.

Tinggal satu malam saja lagi aku akan bermukim di Al Haram. Hanya tinggal 5 waktu wajib saja yang berbaki.

Segala pujian untukNya. Semoga dia makbulkan segala permintaan dan doaku.

Kiranya benar itulah yang telah tertulis, aku terima dengan redha. Janganlah di ainaya, di paksa, di biarkan, dicederakan, dihina, dicaci, atau di benci kamu akan dia.

Aku doakan yang terbaik saja kalau begitulah Akhirnya.

Salam dari Mekkah Al Mukkarammah.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Kau Datang Lagi di Mekkah Al Mukkarramah

Alhamdulillah Kau datang lagi menziarahi aku di Mekah Al Mukarramah. Terimakasih sayang, memang termakbul doaku.

Berjubah merah kau berlalu tanpa kata kata, sepi... terimakasih walaupun hanya di dalam mimpi.

Dikala aku di dalam gebar diserang demam.. Kau menjengukku.

Berkali kali aku katakan, Akan ku mohon doa dari Allah di tanah suci ini agar segalanya di permudahkan. Pengakhirannya hanya Allah yang tahu.

Aku doakan kau senantiasa sejahtera disana. Seminggu  saja lagi aku akan berada di Al Haram ini. Seminggu saja lagi aku dapat bersolat dan berdoa di Al Haram ini.

Semoga aku dapat manfaat dan segala doaku di makbulkan Allah swt.

Salam dari Mekkah Al Mukkarammah

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Dalam Mimpi di Tanah Suci Mekkah

Tiba di Mekkah dari Medinah jam 12 malam waktu tempatan. 7 jam perjalanan yang melesukan setiap inci tulang badan.

Check in , makan malam, dan seterusnya berkumpul untuk taklimat sebelum selesaikan Umrah wajib di Baitullah.

Bergerak perlahan dari hotel ke Baitullah. Aku panjangkan langkah dan bergerak sendiri terus ke Kaabah, berniat dan terus mengerjakan tawaf wajib, sa'ie dan tahallol. Maka, selesailah Umrah wajib dan terlepas lah dari 13 larangan Umrah.

Terus langkahkan kaki terus pulang ke hotel, aku yang pertama tiba dan terus berehat. Perlahan lahan , satu persatu jemaah tiba ke muka hotel dalam kepenatan.

Nasib ditentukan Allah, aku ditempatkan berdua sebilik. agak lega dan memang lega kerana bilik sememang nya sangat kecil.

Cuba lelapkan mata tapi tak berjaya, Akhirnya hampir suboh terlelap sendiri. Allah, bila terjaga aku sudah terlepas suboh 3 jam yang lalu. Aku tak sendiri, hampir separuh jemaah pun alami nasib yang sama.

Selesai Umrah seperti biasa aku berdoa agar yang semuanya dimakbulkan. Agar semuanya sejahtera. Alhamdulillah, di tanah suci Mekkah Al Mukkaramah ini Allah telah datangkan kamu dalam tidurku. Kau senantiasa berada dalam Doaku semenjak dari awal lagi. Terimakasih ya Allah.

Harapan aku, agar semua dimakbulkan. semua berjalan lancar, semua sejahtera dansemua dipermudahkan.

Di tanah suci ini aku dipertemukan dalam mimpi,  semoga kita, Insyaallah dapat bertemu lagi dengan izin Allah dalam keadaan nyata dan tanpa ada sengketa.

Salam dari Mekkah Al Mukarramah.

Saturday, January 13, 2018

If I Don't, No One Will

If I don't, No one will


That is my promise to myself. how could I let go.


You easily asked me to tell lies with your tears.

I want to tell the truth although it's going to hurt lots.

But the truth prevailed. If I don't tell the truth,  at the end of the day you are the one will suffer.

Suffer now or later? I will keep it for now. But I guarantee you, I will not keep it just to make you temporarily happy.

Forcing me not to tell what happened may make you release just for a while. You yourself is now hiding behind your own shadow. You're scared to yourself.

That is what you choose not me..Why not face the facts.. Accept me as what I am. Accept yourself as what you are.

Things happened for a reason. Do not blamed others. We have done everything human do. BEEN THERE DONE THAT

Losing focus on everything one is doing got nothing to do with me. The one whom made the decision must be responsible for it. Not me, ohh NOT Me.

I had tried in any possible way to RETAIN but for now is all in vain. Honestly, I have nothing to lose. One knows crystal clear who is the LOSER. May be not now but for sure there's ONE.

Being a GOOD pretender and GREAT pretender is something one got to ponder. They can pretend as much as they want but how long they can pretend.. The truth will surface, it's a matter of time.

It's ONE MINUTE TOO LATE by then.

Who is holding the masterkey? There must be some one out here. Search for the one, I meant the right one.

Because the one holding the masterkey had been passing the  door hundreds if not thousand of times. The holder knew well what is behind the metal door.

The one is called a CARETAKER.
This CARETAKER is not the one who looks after the cemetery or crematorium. He is the one who look after the things inside the room and off course behind the metal door.

He sat there long ago. He know the size of every single furniture, the thick of the carpet, the water pressure of the water in the washroom, the color of the room, the ambience, the lights, the paintings, and you named it all... He sat, sleep, tested, tasted and all.

He appreciated it all. He love it all. He Care it all.

Not and inches of the room and it's furniture he will ever forget. For sure not at all he will FORGO.

CARETAKER knows every single secret of the rooms. He kept it himself. Wall to wall. He knows the value, he knows what has he taken. And he knows what's left behind.

If he's not taking what's left, he won't let anybody do. No one WILL.

DONT BE TOO LATE.!

Friday, January 12, 2018

913 Wonderful Days Part 2

We first met 4 years ago, but at that time I was so busy with my things as my late wife passed away in April 24, 2012.

I never had any intention to get to know you just like any other in my territories. Time has passed so quick. An suddenly a month before your departure I realise there's an angel  sitting on that chair for the past 3 month.

I approached her just like others. And finally the D_ Day knocking the door and its time for your departure. I only knew you by name. That's all.

I was so in mess as Eliza passing was not even a YEAR. Lots need to be settle and solving the puzzle need a lots of effort. I had my bad days and spending all my supposedly good  happy hour either in the office or any other related government offices in Selangor  And Kuala Lumpur to put all Eliza issues to rest. It's all takes times and monetary issues.

Sometimes I think about you, and sometimes I don't. I am being honest .

Eliza issues resolve one by one. meant to say I had more times I in the office. Planning and executing.... We need another helping hand..here how its all started.. The beginning of a JOURNEY.. You are back a month and the half after your departure.. Welcome back DARLING..

Reporting for duties and as usual you were tasked to assist the administrative issues. Things went very well as expected. I am getting closer to you. So do you. I started to realise that you are wiser than others. I started to figure out your career path plan. Not only for you but for the whole lots.

We started to have conversations. We started calling each other on day to day basis. We shared ideas although  over the phone. We talk about office issues to personal things.

Time flies so fast.

continue to part 3

Bila Lagi Akan Kembali

semua nya bermula di satu kenduri kawin sebulan setengah yang lalu.

Datuk nak join pergi Umrah tak? Sapa tuan rumah pada saya. Lantas terus bersetuju dan keesokkannya terus ke dr ambil suntikan dan membuat bayaran.

Begitulah al kisahnya. Mudah dan hari ini aku berada di Medinah Untuk malam ke 3.

Kumpulan ini tiba tiga hari yang lalu, bermula zohor dan Akan berakhir dengan zohor juga Esok..

Dalam tiga hari ini dapatlah aku ke Raudah Taman syurga. Masjid Qiblat, masjid 6, ladang kurma dan sudah pasti Nabawi.

Perkuburan para sahabat hanya walking distance.

Soalannya, Bila lagi Akan dapat kesini..

Andai punya wang dan usia tak memadai kiranya kesehatan tak mengizinkan.

Mohon Pada Allah, agar apa saja doa dimakbulkan. semoga perjalanan ini bukanlah yang terakhir.

Insyaallah

wassalam.

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Raudah Taman syurga dan Janji


Selepas 20 tahun saya kembali ke Madinah untuk tujuan ziarah para sahabat.

Tiba di hotel jam 11 pagi waktu tempatan, makan tengah hari dan masuklah waktu zohor jam 1230.

Alhamdulillah dapat selesai kan zohor asar dan maghrib. Airmata bercucuran tanpa sebab dari Takbir hingga ke tahiyat akhir.

Sangat hiba dan sayu. memang tak tahu apa puncanya.

Pulang ke hotel untuk makan malam dan terus semula ke nabawi utk solat Isyak.

Aku bergerak sendiri, tak perlu tour guide untuk bantu. keadaan masjid memang Sangat brerbeza dari 20 tahun yang lalu.

Dari mula sampai akhir malam Bergerak sendiri ke masjid.

Selesai Isyak aku Beratur utk ke Raudah. dan Akhirnya lolos masuk.
Seperti niat dan nazar ku sebelum berangkat. aku bersolat sunat dan terus memohon doa agar dimakbulkan.

Hanya Allah saja yang maha mengetahui Doaku. 
Ya Allah, makbulkanlah Doaku yang kupohon di Taman syurga ini. 

Sesungguhnya, telah engkau janjikan, berdoalah di antara rumah dan mimbarku, nescaya Allah Akan makbulkan permintaanmu.

Aku mohon darimu ya Allah.

ameen..

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

8kg bukan 4kg

Sebelum berangkat ke airport malam tadi aku sempat Berehat sekejap diruang makan sambil menghirup kopi.

aku capai penimbang Dengan kaki, lantas terus berdiri. Berat badan ku yang seminggu lalu jatuh dari 70kg ke 66kg, hari ini merudum lagi kepada 62kg.

8kg hilang dengan mudah dari 9hb ke 9hb. Genap 30 hari.....
Alhamdulillah, allah masih memberi kesihatan yang baik setakat ini.

Memang terasa seluarku melonggar, memang aku tau belt semakin melonggar. tapi tidak Langsung menjangka seteruk ini kehilangannya.

Akan berangkat kurang dari 30 minit lagi. Mohon doa dari Allah.. Akan bertabah dan berubah la apa yang berlaku tika ini kepada yang Lebih baik kiranya tidak kepada asalnya

wassalam..

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

8 HOURS JOB

God is great by creating 24 hours in a day.

Equally 8 hours for work, rest and for almighty. That is where you spent a 24 hours in a day.

But, are we being fair just spending our time for three things?

We prayed to Allah for eight hour, Allah will look after us 24 hours a day.

We rest (sleep) eight hours a day, the body will keep fit for the rest of 16 hours.

We buy food from the salary that we work 8 hours a day. The food intake guarantee that we are healthy next 16 hours.

Are we being fair just to do things for eight hours and the rest of the hours is taken care off for oneself?

When in the office for eight hours, this is our productions,
chat in pantry, coffee, surfing the web, having sweet time in the loo, que for errant, visiting kids at school, seek dr, chat in social media, workshop, window shopping etc....

All what we have to do is just to answer to our superior that we appreciate all office work to be discussed within that 8 hours.

But we have forgotten that the employee stated clearly in our paycheck, They pay us MONTHLY. not 8 hours..

They facilitate our medical attention a YEAR, not 8 hours.

They pay our mobile bill for one month, not for eight hours.

And we enjoy the facilities TILL wee hours at the expense of the employer. As if we are on a leisure trip that we can come in to the office as and just when we wanted to.

My advised is, Please don't insult your own intelligence by telling him, I work only for 8 hours. I don't work after 5 or I only work 48 hours a week.!!

ARE WE BEING FAIR?
Be smart enough to answer me next time........

913 wonderful days

Well said, it was approximately 913 days.

Knowing each other from teen become adults and from there become angel.

Going through all the mess off course but with a great times too.

Spending that kind of numbers is not a short period.  it takes really a patience individual and guts.

From zero become hero, from nothing to something. I knew all about you. You knew too well about me. Just like a book.

Nothing SPARED.

From there on, lies has taken its course. hide and seek is not our games..As LIES has made the change..

Should I lie more on your behalf now? If I continue to tell lies on your behalf,  I am not helping you. The truth will prevail.

You will be curse, They will treat you like a SLUT if not worse.

I am a responsible human. You must be treated as what you are today.

No one can mistreat you. unless you choose to be the one.

to be continued as I only share not even a quarter of 913 days..

This is only the PREFACE..

nite

DND

stand for, do not disturb, 

so that, I won't disturb anybody life.  pls do so to me.. do not control me. I can do what I like, I can go where I want.  I can live where I prefer, I can eat what I like, I can speak what my right..

do not restrict me now, just like what you wanted to be.

your demand fulfilled. I don't even demand anything from you. I will be myself.. Just don't ask me to follow what you want me to do..

enough saying, others can control you or you like to be controlled.

I don't deserved to be controlled.

I am what I am..

Best regards

Monday, January 8, 2018

5 to 8

I spent a whole day at home.. replying to sms. felt so free.. on and off.. free my head and air..

not bothering anyone except the one.. 

he met me after 5,  we spent time together TILL 8..

am happy for now..

mind you.. the worst will come.. be good

REGAIN OR RETAIN?

I knew I had the power to REGAIN OR RETAIN ..  All I have is my last card that you even don't remember..
You may not even remember the day you came in voluntarily to my room.

you might not even remember the place.. it's all in my card..I can spell the day time and place..

I may not telling the truth about what's happening.. But this will became a bedtime story to your last breath.

ask me not.. suffering to be shared.. let's share

I wanted to be responsible,, u refused

Please bear with it.. I am a gentlemen, what I do wrong I will admit..

loving you is not a mistake.. vice versa.But refusing me is not a good deal.

You knew well what happened for the last two summers. May you not regrets choosing your path..

Visitors

Lately I found out there's visitors who really like to read my writings.

They came from KL off course in Malaysia..Penang, Puchong, Bukit Mertajam and Shah Alam..

Thank you, I am writing this for your reading pleasure..

A lots of these story telling is based on My day to day things or in the past..

I had actually drafted more than twenty stories in line.. they eventually will be publish.. on the the day that I have set on my blog..

keep reading.. you will get to know the truth when the times comes...

Apa Erti Hidup Kalau Dikawal

V
Bodohnya, Kalau hidup kita ini di awal seperti remote control.

Segala keputusan hanya di buat sebelah pihak dan kita terpaksa atau dipaksa untuk setuju.

Apa perlu dicakap, diajar cakap. dan perlu dicakap didepan mata demi utk pastikan.. cinta itu adalah benar...

Pastikan yang kenyataan itu adalah betul.. demi utk kekalkan cinta yang belum pasti.

Menghancurkan apa yang sedia ada, menghancurkan apa yang bakal ada.. satu penipuan cinta..

Akhirnya, yang Mengikut kata terpedaya. Wang simpanan habis.. masa depan habis.. dan hidup serba tak terdaya.. tapi berpura pura depan kenalan seperti tiada kekurangan. semua bahagia.

Malu, Akhirnya terpaksa hidup dalam kepuraaan.. walaupun hutang menjengok setiap bulan..

A story to tell not to hide.  If you can't live with it.. pls leave.. under the control of people that is not even related to you is not a wise decision..

A PROMISE IS A PROMISE NOT AN ACTUAL THINGS TILL IT HAPPEN.

More than 300 was recorded.. it's not a lie

More than 300 was recorded.. over 1349 calls..not a lies anymore..

Nothing was made a secret. the time flies. the record remained in here.

Sunday, January 7, 2018

January 7, 2018

A call of a duration of 36 minutes was received and well spoke.

I have done my best not to embarrass another party. I have to keep it as my dark secret.

Only God's know what was really happened.

I have nothing to lose at the end of the day.

Controlling the world

Let me start with a small picture, I was raised in a big family. 9 siblings and I am being the youngest..my dad was a policeman.

All of us went to different schools, and later succeeded a good jobs as a professionals or businessman or a government servant.

But I must share, one of us decided to join the underworld. My father failed to control the ONE although he manage to raised all the EIGHT..

My advised is, please don't try to control the world when you can't even control  a small community.

A bit bigger, Tunku Abdul Rahman won the first election.. and after the second one, 13th May incidence broke out..

Tunku had failed to unite the Malaysian. Malays and Chinese disunited,  lead to the form of MAGERAN..a temporary government.

Tunku FAILED to control Malaysians and I am sure he can't even control the world..

My advised to all my friends out there.

Just be in control what you can.. do not dream to big to control the world..

Best Regards

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Final Journey 2018..

743 woke up at 530am.. deep inside masih tertanya tanya.. dimanakah dia.. do Umah ke.. betul ke.. Umah mana.. Kl ke.. johor ke.. ampang ke..shah alam ke.. itu  yang Keluar dari ingatan...

tidurku baru dua setengah jam.. pening lalat masih di kepala.. jam 8 Harus berangkat untuk pursues da. si dia dari semWwwalam sudah block semua..

cuba dan mencuba dari 830am... sampai ke petang semua tak get through.. zalim kamu.. aku tunggu  kerna aku sayang kamu...

abis kursus tadi aku tak tau nak kemana lagi.. Singgah beli nescafe 2 tin and started cruising around.. heading to highway not knowing where to.. I headed to the north deep inside nak ke selatan sebenarnya.. half way through I pull over.. patah balik melaka..

743 I received  your message wanted to talk rationally.. I responded.. and finally u called me..

we talk about it.. I guess I am being just fair to you and myself.. we cannot control the world.. I will do what I have to do

good nite yang
wassalam

Hours of scrolling

while I am in the dark.. I scrolled your pic your video.. your message..

and off course your chat on the other phone. you are actively online from 9am.. but none a message was directed to me.

as you have requested.. you need a space and time for yourself.. I never make any call to you. althuogh I can easily make it from my hidden number.

I had more than just this blog to express myself..  I can do more and wonder than this..

if I lose doesn't mean you win all..

Monday, January 1, 2018

Welcoming 2018

Head up as early as 5am.. feeling as if I wanted to turn the clock back to 2016,

Weather seem to be so cloudy.maybe it reflects me. I was not in focus for the whole December 2017.

Keeping calm doesn't mean you are OK.. keeping calm make you think what was wrong decision , act and words you had used.

Keeping silent is worst. But that is what am I today on January 01, 2018.

I will wait, the sun will never set down.

May Allah blessed my wished..

Insyaallah

Changing profile

I noticed you are changing your profile pic..

But as your wished, I won't say anything..

Changing whatever you wanted to do doesn't change me..

May 2018, will be a blessed one.

I believed Allah will arrange something better for us..

Salam.